Thomas Jefferson with the new, revolutionary, ARTHUR KUSHNER mouthpiece.



We the freaks, degenerates and generally undesirable elements of Lehman College, in order to create a more congenial and human environment hereby cop out to the Administration by writing words on paper and calling it a Constitution.


It is the resolution of the assembled hordes that all positions within a Frisbee's throw of this dubiously contrived document be more plentifully endowed with colors, sounds, eyeball kicks and mind traps.

In view of the universal emergence of Freak Culture as exemplified by the international corps of street jesters and white magicians we will work diligently to institute an accredited department of Freak Studies with accompanying and proper Freak Facilities on campus including:

Time warps

Jello fountains

Rubber walkways

Argyle sunsets.....

and other such improvements as the advancement of technology permits.

We further resolve, promise and warn that the Freak Committee shall provide for all and sundry an uninterrupted series of orgiastic potentialities.

As to membership , internal organization and selection of officers:

Membership is acquired by association with co-habitation with, weeks vacation with, waiting at the station with, or infatuation with any

known, blown, oats all sown, practicing freak, or conversely, by maintaining no association or affiliation with any tangible entities or objects whatsoever.

The above ruling shall be strictly adhered to except on alternate Fridays and of course, Halloween, during which membership is inevitable.

Internal organization will be warm and friendly but otherwise subject to whatever mutations are required to preserve it as such. Furthermore, as internal organization requires regular habits of eating, exercise and sleep, members will be encouraged to eat together, exercise together and sleep together regularly. Appointment of officers: There will be an officer of the week election to publicly honor the friendliest cop on the beat. Beyond such considerations, anyone assuming a position of authority in or claiming to be a representative of the Freak Committee should be taken with a grain of salt and a gram of hash.

In any event, the following organizational diagram contains all relevant information.

Dues: All freaking, creative, growing things pay the very heavy dues of being:






Born lonely

Killed pointlessly

Therefore, we propose an inundation of the environment with the sight, sound, touch and smell of life to lighten the dues and live off the anciently accumulated and continuously com­pounded interest on dues paid.